Group DetailsGoals include:
Who is this group for? Childfree (by choice) and Childless (not-by-choice) Women and AFAB individuals who are in their second half of life, nearing or having reached the end of their fertility cycle.
Screenings: To schedule your initial screening or to get more information on the group, please contact Jackie at 805-766-4585 or [email protected]. You can also book a Zoom call with Jackie here. Groups will be limited to a maximum of 10 members. Waiting lists are available for upcoming groups once all spaces are filled. About the Facilitator: Jackie Toth, LMFT #112958, is a licensed psychotherapist in private practice and a Gen-X childfree woman. Jackie works with individuals experiencing grief and loss, caregiver/activist burnout, and those looking to reconnect to or reclaim their core selves. She is a published writer and professor in the thesis department at Pacifica Graduate Institute. |
For many middle-aged women hovering around 50, there is often accessible social and family support to draw upon as they approach the traditional transitions of this period of life. From facing empty nest syndrome to planning their kids’ weddings or becoming grandmothers, these happenings are so accepted and expected that conversations about them take place everywhere: at the grocery store, all over the media, around the family dinner table, or during happy hour with friends.
But what about the middle-aged woman that does not have kids—who is Not-a-Mom, either by choice or due to circumstances? Where does she fit in? Where are the water cooler conversations, meet-ups, Wine Wednesdays, or family conversations that directly address aging without children, or her unique realities and feelings about her past, present, and future as a childfree, 50-ish-and-beyond woman in today’s world? What about individuals who identify as women without children who do not conform to heteronormative identities? “Childfree” is a term commonly used to refer to women--or individuals who have ovaries and a womb--who have chosen to not have children. "Childless" is often used to represent individuals who feel that ambivalence and/or life circumstances (not meeting the right partner, dedication to career or vocation, financial hardship, etc.) led them to not becoming mothers or parents. This decision impacts their lives differently than middle-aged mothers in ways that sometimes lead childfree women and individuals to feel like they do not fit in with their families, friends, or the larger world. Often, childfree women and individuals experience feelings of being misunderstood or regarded as selfish, immature, and misguided. Childfree people approaching or arriving upon middle age may begin to internalize negative messages around the taboo of not becoming mothers or following a non-traditional life script, resulting in feeling depressed, anxious, or like they are a failure or let their loved ones or ancestors down. Self-doubt and regret are prone to creep in at this time, even if an individual has felt confident about their choices throughout their life. Loneliness and isolation are common, and feelings of loss and grief often emerge. Questions on the legacy one wishes to leave—or even how to leave a legacy without signing on to a traditional script—can cause feelings of being lost, un-anchored, or without value or purpose. This time of life brings up the importance of having a community of support that can provide us with validation and a space to be seen and heard in our unique stories. Having a community of support helps us see ourselves more clearly, encouraging us to embrace our present with more vigor and face our futures with more hope and purpose. Join us in a welcoming space where you are invited to sharpen your sense of identity in order to reclaim your voice and inspiration that can lead to reconnecting with a happy and meaningful life. See the column to the left or download the flyer below for full details.
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