Group DetailsGoals include:
Who is this group for? Childfree (by choice) and Childless (not-by-choice) Women and AFAB individuals who are in the second half of life, nearing or having reached the end of their fertility cycle. This group may be a good fit for you if you....
Screenings: To schedule your initial screening or to get more information on the group, please contact Jackie at 805-766-4585 or [email protected]. Groups will be limited to a maximum of 10 members. Waiting lists are available for upcoming groups once all spaces are filled. About the Facilitator: Hi, I am Jackie Toth, Childfree LMFT. I offer therapy from a depth-psychological and radical grief lens. I see clients in person at my beautiful office in Santa Barbara, as well as online across California. My groups for childfree and involuntarily childless women welcome members from all across the globe. I also host a Substack called Making Meaning Without Kids, which aims to build a robust community for those of us aging without children. I am a published writer and professor in the thesis department at Pacifica Graduate Institute. In addition to cooking, watching dramadies, and engaging in good conversations, I enjoy sitting on my patio and watching the action unfold around my hummingbird feeder. |
For many middle-aged women hovering around 50, there is often accessible social and family support to draw upon as they approach the traditional transitions of this period of life. From facing empty nest syndrome to planning their kids’ weddings or becoming grandmothers, these happenings are so accepted and expected that conversations about them take place everywhere: at the grocery store, all over the media, around the family dinner table, or during happy hour with friends.
But what about the middle-aged woman that does not have kids—who is Not-a-Mom, either by choice or due to circumstances? If this is you, where do you find a space to fit in? Where are the water cooler conversations, meet-ups, Wine Wednesdays, or family conversations that directly address your thoughts on aging without children, or your unique realities and feelings about your past, present, and future as a childfree/childless woman in the second half of life navigating today’s world? What about those of us who identify as women without children who do not conform to heteronormative identities? “Childfree” is a term commonly used to refer to women--or individuals who have ovaries and a womb--who have chosen to not have children. "Childless" is often used to represent individuals who feel that ambivalence and/or life circumstances (not meeting the right partner, dedication to career or vocation, financial hardship, etc.) led them to not becoming mothers or parents. Some arrived at childlessness through fertility challenges or early-onset menopause. Our lives are impacted differently than middle-aged mothers in ways that sometimes lead us to feel like we do not fit in with our families, friends, or the larger world. Often, we experience feelings of being misunderstood or regarded as selfish, immature, and misguided. Those of us without children who are approaching or arriving upon middle age may begin to internalize negative messages around the taboo of not becoming mothers or parents or following a non-traditional life script, resulting in feeling depressed, anxious, or like we are a failure or let our loved ones or ancestors down. Self-doubt and regret are prone to creep in at this time, even if we have felt confident about our choices throughout our lives. Loneliness and isolation are common, and feelings of loss and grief often emerge. Questions on the legacy we wish to leave—or even how to leave a legacy without signing on to a traditional script—can cause feelings of being lost, un-anchored, or without value or purpose. This time of life brings up the importance of having a community of support that can provide us with validation and a space to be seen and heard in our unique stories. Having a community of support helps us see ourselves more clearly, encouraging us to embrace our present with more vigor and face our futures with more hope and purpose. Join us in a welcoming space where you are invited to sharpen your sense of identity in order to reclaim your voice and inspiration that can lead to reconnecting with a happy and meaningful life. See the column to the left or download the flyer below for full details.
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